Post-Graduation Slump + REALLY Bad News

Hello all. I wanted to share some of my quarantine, post-graduation thoughts, so here they are…

I am over this pandemic. This past weekend I had a little bit of a burst of frustration. Here is the general idea… Since “graduation” has passed I’ve been going through a slump. I am pretty frustrated that I don’t have my nursing stole, my honor cord, or my SNA student leader cord. I had to pay for my honor society stole to be shipped which was frustrating because that student organization had more than enough money to ship it to us. The nursing school can’t afford to send us our stoles because only thirty two seniors out of about eighty got them for free shipping. The nursing program also does not have it in their budget to send us our stoles. There are not any pickup options and I am tired of paying extra money on a PRN budget.

I don’t want to take graduation photos, but I need something to send to my family overseas for celebration. Can’t take decent pictures without my stoles/cords… At this point I don’t have any closure from a pinning ceremony, graduation ceremony and my degree probably won’t get her until June. All the hard work to be able to get to college and no way to “finish that chapter”. On my graduation day, I did nothing. I sat around the house feeling down and ate Burger King. I literally never eat Burger King…

I am tired of studying for NCLEX because technically I’ve been studying for it for four years. I am struggling to stay focused and am feeling very unmotivated. I am sad every time I go to work because I have been floating to the ER where I will be working a lot lately. This feels like they are assuming I wasn’t good enough to make it, when I did.It’s not my passion and I honestly do not care about the patients. I just want to get them in and out in the hopes the shift goes by faster. I am tired of telling people where I will be working and it hurts when people say “Didn’t you want Peds?”. I just reply “It’s a long story” (you can read that long story here). Almost every day I feel disappointed with myself and it sucks…

I am tired of giving. I have given so much to others during the past four years as a volunteer, non-profit employee , nursing student, student nurse extern and as a PRN hospital employee. I can’t seem to help it though. I come from nothing and I still try to give. I miss volunteering with the kiddo patients… I miss the doggies too! 😭

I get random urges to cry and I am not even an emotional person. I am sad everytime I got to work and see what I will be stuck with for at least two years. Hopefully it grows on me. Some days I loathe my decision to become a nurse. I will spend the rest of my time on this earth milling away, breaking my already messed up back, continuing to be cussed out by dementia patients, and being treated poorly by employers. Not to mention the fact hat the majority of nurses are quite fake, rude and have ego issues.. What an underwhelming end… I’m over the coronavirus and nursing… 😂

I am pretty sure other nursing grads and nurses have felt this way. I know this may sound pessimistic as many of my posts have the same sound, but I like to consider myself a realist. This is what goes on in nursing. There are high points, but hospital systems only care about one thing and it is not their employees…

I miss being busy with work, student orgs, volunteering, studying, clinical, simulation, meetings, etc. I really did enjoy being a student. I loved the student lifestyle (apart from dorm life). I wish I could be a professional student! 😆 I do have some loose plans on how I plan to stay entertained as a nurse and I will share those pretty soon!

Thanks for reading!

Update: Just recieved my ATT and there are NO testing centers. I am just done…

One thought on “Post-Graduation Slump + REALLY Bad News

  1. Anna, I really appreciate how real you are in your posts. This sounds so discouraging and frustrating; I hope things start to improve quite soon. Thank you for writing from your heart.

    Liked by 1 person

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