Hello everyone! This is just a quick post to share some of the feelings I went through during my first two weeks of residency. Keep reading if you want some honest thoughts.

Those close to me knew I NEVER wanted to be an Adult ER nurse. In fact, I originally applied for a Peds ER position and was highly qualified for it. Unfortunately I received two confirmations that I did not receive the job because they were not looking for any women. Instead they took the first male that applied. I’ll be honest that stung.

Despite working with the Pediatric population for 5+ years and being a Child Life volunteer, et cetera, things just did not work out. Life is not fair sometimes and everyday I go to work I am reminded of that. Honestly, I have been feeling unhappy and unsettled, but I believe taking the Adult Trauma Center was the best choice. I know I would have been extremely bored on a Pediatric Med-Surg floor. However it does suck to know all the time you gave to that department and dedication you had was overlooked because of that. This also just reminded me of something in nursing that occurs a lot. I’ll be honest if you are a guy going into nursing you will be treated like royalty.

Throughout my years of hospital experience I’ve seen it and it sucks. It can be expected though when you are the minority…. Anyways I have decided to remain a Child Life volunteer and hope to return if volunteers are ever allowed back again. I would like to try to wedge my way in there PRN and hopefully show them what they missed during an interview….For now I will just suffer through how ever many years I’ll stay in the Adult Trauma Center. Maybe one day I can truly feel content with work… I am still surprised the Adult Trauma Center took me knowing I don’t care for Adults…The only positive to this is that I’ve seen a good bit of trauma already and I am really good at being detached… I just feel deflated everyday. I’ve never really been good at anything in life (except for academics) and I for sure knew I would have been a bomb Peds nurse… This is the first job I’ve had where I actually feel like I’m clocking in and out and it feels almost demoralizing…

Anyway… I am just trying to find some sort of light right now. Just hoping one day it will be better. By the way I feel like I am still in denial, because I still enjoy learning and reading pediatric care content. I’m pathetic. 🤣

Thanks for reading,