Hello! Another rant… Brace yourselves…
I am tired of nursing school. I am tired of hearing chatter before exams. I am tired of hearing the straight-A students brag about how wonderful they are doing on tests and how professors compliment them. I am tired of instructors and straight-A students making condescending comments who students who aren’t breezing through. “You messed yourself up” or “You aren’t studying enough” or “I studied REALLY HARD”, as if no one else is trying too. I am tired of hearing about everyone’s experience and how it makes them better. I am tired of “experienced” students forcing themselves into leadership roles and kissing the instructors’ behinds. I am tired of students degrading me because I have no desire to attend grad school or because I do not have an exact timeline of my life. I will be TWENTY, why should I plan this type of stuff?! (No I do not share my age…) My main goal is life is not to make six figures, I just want to live a simple, happy life…
I am tired of begin referred to as “help” by classmates during double care. I am tired of being spoken over by classmates. I am tired of people judging be because I am not “happy-go-lucky”. Yes, I have a serious personality, no that does not mean I do not care. I just do not have time to raise my voice or try to assert myself for every little things. No, I do not think I am better than everyone….
I am tired of feeling slow because I feel like I have to try harder than most. I put in so much, I learn my content, but I suck at tests. I suck at tests because I never trust my gut. There is nothing more frustrating than reviewing a test and realizing you could have received a near perfect score if you did not second-guess yourself. Where did this low self-confidence come from? I am fed up. I feel I will never become a competent nurse. I feel like I am a failure. I feel inferior, more than ever. I feel I have more pressure on myself because I am a young, African-American girl in a skirt who everyone judges and runs over. No one takes the time to know me or my passion for nursing. I have accepted I will never be a “stand-out” student. I am not outgoing or talkative like a lot of my classmates. All I can ever see is what I do wrong. I am tired off crying.
Even though I am miserable and completely defeated right now. I still love nursing. A career in which I will give and give for little return…
Thanks for reading,
Anna
NURSE ANNA 
Thank you for being real about how you’re feeling! Yeah, nursing school can really bring you down sometimes. But something tells me you’re going to make a great nurse. Also, I would rather have a competent nurse with good bedside manner than the straight-A student who only cared about grades ANY day. 🙂
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Sorry to hear that your nursing experience isn’t going so well. It sounds like you don’t have a very supportive cohort! I understand that that would be hard because those are the people we are with almost every day of the week. You’re all in the program together working towards the same goal! As for nursing school, it is far from easy and the unfortunate thing is that nurses in the real world often give plenty and get nothing in return! It’ll be those moments where you do experience the appreciation and rewarding feelings that remind you why you chose nursing to begin with!
It sounds like you still have the passion, so hang onto that, try not to be too hard on yourself, don’t let others get you down, and just keep trudging through! I hope things get better soon for you.
Keep your head up 🙂
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Hi Holly!
Another classmate mentioned this to me as well…It seems as if a large portion of our cohort still think we are competing. Sadly, a lot of these people are out for themselves and are so focused on their goal of being an NP they forget the present. There are a few of my classmates who are very supportive and I appreciate them for that. I still love nursing though! I’m hoping things will get better soon! Thanks for reading!
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