Burnt Out. Defeated.

Well, I am officially a senior… I took my last final today for Med-Surg I and did okay. I wish I would have done two points better, but at this point I don’t care. I thought I had done really well in the class, then we received an email saying that the grade calculation sheet we were given is wrong. So I missed a pretty solid grade by 1 point. I cried. I won’t even lie. I put so much into this semester to get okay grades, but I learned so much and felt so much more competent in clinical. I can break down the content and apply in clinical, but suck at tests.

burntout

I know grades are not that important, but it does sting when you are always a couple of points or 1 point from a letter grade. I also just struggled this semester with imposter syndrome, a lot…I felt like I am the dumbest person in the cohort because I don’t just study the night before tests and get As and brag about it. I am so confused because I can answer my classmate’s questions, and perform/apply in clinical, but can’t even ace a test. Needless to say, I am defeated, burnt out and I feel worthless…I’m over it. My mother was concerned I hit compassion fatigue. My family keeps telling me I should be proud of my performance this semester, but for some reason I don’t feel proud of myself. I feel like I’m never good enough…(gotta love nursing school🙄) Despite all these feelings, I am not completely down because I know nursing school just gives you the foundation and my future employer (which is my employer for externship) does not care about GPAs.

I’ll be taking a little break from posting on the blog until externship starts in about a week, because I want to document that. Let my one week of summer begin.

 

One thought on “Burnt Out. Defeated.

  1. Today I took my last final as a sophomore, so as you enter into being a senior in nursing school, I enter into being a junior in nursing school. I relate very much to what you write. School and exams and grades aren’t fair, but our work ethic and our compassion will take us far, even after nursing school is but a distant memory. I have no solutions or inspiring words, but know this: you are not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s